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It’s been a while, I know. We’ve been quite busy the past couple years. Maybe I’ll tell you all about it, if you ask. If you actually want to know. But I’m guessing by the time you start reading these, you’ll be “too cool to care” about what happened “back then”.
Nikisha, my Beans, you’ll be 9 years old next month. I’m not sure where the time has gone, but you’re growing way too fast for me. I’m going to have to have the mother-daughter talks soon, but I’m not ready. The older you get, the less we get along. I don’t want to lose my baby girl.
Except, I want you to grow up to be a strong independent woman. Take on the world with the your head up high. But mama is going to do it wrong sometimes. Maybe even most of the time. I just want you to know that I’m trying. I’m still learning how to be a good mom. Forever learning. You are my first teacher on this subject. You’re doing a great job. Me? Not as good as you.
Academically, you’re not doing the greatest right now. Everything is hard. But you are my daughter and I know that you’ll figure things out when you’re ready. I just forget. And I push too hard most of the time. It’s not your fault, but mine. Because I do not know what to do and instead of trying to figure it out, I flip out. I’m working on that. I don’t want to make you feel insecure anymore.
You’re doing good in other ways. You’re so full of energy and free spirited. You had a hard time learning how to ride your bike without training wheels, but you didn’t give up even though no one had the time to teach you. Just a couple weeks ago I watched you look at a picture and draw it. Within minutes. I was amazed.
I can go on about the good and bad, but the point I’m trying to make is. Despite what an awful job I feel I’m doing as your mama, you’re amazing.
I bought Niki a pair of chopsticks on Wednesday at Uwajimaya in Seattle. Both Ams and I tried to teach her how to use them, but failed miserably. Then today I look toward the table. She’s using them correctly while eating GRAPES with them!
I asked her who taught her how to use them. She said in a very confident voice, “I learned on my own”.
I’ve been wanting to do more with Niki and I knew that she would love helping me with cooking and baking. Friday we kicked off with something simple and made blueberry muffins. We cheated and got the boxed one where you just add oil and eggs. Niki helped me pour in all the ingredients and stirred it up. She put the cupcake cups in the tin and let me pour the batter in. We watched it rise and couldn’t wait for it to finish. We both enjoyed two each while they were still warm.
For breakfast today I asked Niki to help me make green eggs and Spam. We collected everything we needed and started the preparations. She took the eggs out of the carton, but she dropped one on the floor. She was a little sad, but the hubs and I assured her that everyone drops eggs eventually.
Next she cracked the eggs and put them in the bowl. Three eggs and only one little piece of shell fell in the bowl. If you asked me, she did an awesome job for her first time. After fishing out the shell, I added a little salt and pepper, then pushed the bowl back over to Niki. She added just one little drop of blue food coloring and whisked away.
As she beat the eggs to a bloody green pulp, I chopped up some spam. Once we were both finished with our preparations, we were ready to start cooking.
I set the pan on the stove and turned it on. Handed Niki the spoon and tossed in the spam. With a little of my help, she browned the spam nicely. Next she poured in the egg mixture. She then asked me to finish up the cooking. When it was all done and on the plate, she insisted on taking a bunch of pictures of it. The one posted up top was one of hers.
It may look a bit gross to everyone, but trust me, it was good. Niki, Maeby and I ate it all up with nothing leftover.
While laying down and watching The Neverending Story, Maeby starts crying because mom and dad are busy with other things around the house. Niki takes on the role of big sister and calls her sissy to lay down. I walk into the livingroom to find a happy Maeby curled into Niki’s arms.
It could quite possibly be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and all I could do was watch them and smile.
The weather outside has been weird today. Still, the sun came out for a little bit and Niki wanted to go outside, so I let her. When the sun hid behind the clouds again and refused to come back out, she decided it was time to come back in.
Then she sat down and watched Talking Hands, a dvd we picked up at Babies R Us while shopping for a baby shower gift. She loves this dvd and watches it over and over again.
Anyway, just a few minutes ago she said to me:
“Mommy. I’m going to go upstairs and take a nap. Wake me up when it’s time to go get Daddy, okay? Wake me up. Don’t forget.”
She’s up there now quietly playing and will be asleep in just a few more minutes. She’s awesome and I still can’t believe she’s turning six in a little over a month.
Niki: Mommy! There’s something on your shirt. Me: Really? Where? *looks* Niki: April Fools!! Me: Ohman. You got me! Niki: Mommy! There’s something on your nose. Me: Oh yeah? What? *feels nose* Niki: April Fools!! Me: Ohman. You got me again! Niki: Mommy! There’s something on your hair. Me: I don’t want to play this game anymore. *dies* Niki: April Fools!!